Wednesday, April 11, 2007



The minute I noticed on her blog that she had updated her tour information I had a feeling that she was coming to town. There is was...Denver, CO! OH Ya, I was there baby!

I am a totally Yarn Harlot Harloony! (I should have had a shirt made huh?) I read her blog everyday (even when she doesn't post) and get inspired that a knitter like her can have so many followers; what is to stop any of us from doing the same? She is so very funny, down to earth, and up front with her philosophy in life and knitting (and that line is blurred often by mohair and alpaca). I find her refreshing...don't you.

Okay, when I found out she was to be here on April 5th I knew I had an instant problem. I am one of the group leaders of the Needle and Thread sit and stitch held at my church on the first Thursday of every month. That meant that a) Starry was not going to be able to join me at the Harlot since she is the other leader (sorry Starry, but I got dibbs), and b) I was going to miss a sit and stitch with my friends! I asked some of them if they wanted to go with me and they declined but not my friend Jill!

She and I have such a great time together no matter where we go! When I told Jill that the Harlot was coming to town she instantly marked it on her calendar and we were set. That is until we came back into reality and realized that we had to convince our husbands that this was much needed girls-night (even though the last one had been only a couple of weeks prior) and they needed to watch the kids...on a work night...really themselves! (oh the horror :-)

After a little chat with John he agreed to the outing and I was set. Jill on the other hand, had to remind her hubby the day of that she was going out. That guy, I tell you, he can't remember anything (I kid, I kid!) No, really, Jill got the okay too fairly easily and that was it! We were ready to go and see the Harlot.

That is until John got home late from work and set us back and entire hour from leaving my house. I know what you are hour is not that long , especially since it was only 6:00 when we left and the event didn't start until 7:30 and I only live 15 minutes from the Tattered Cover. But, this is the YARN HARLOT! We were not the only Harloony's in Colorado. There were a few women waiting in line at 8:00am to see her!

I just knew that we were going to get there and after all the planning, all the waiting, all the excitement...not get to see her. When John got in the door, I grabbed my bag, kissed him good-bye and bolted out the door!

Jill and I felt like two teenagers going to a New Kids On The Block (or as I like to call them I have that song in my head!) concert or something. We were just too chipper, bouncy, perky (pick an adjective!). Cruzin' around the the 94 Corolla, big pippin LOL.
All this because we were going to see a blogger, a Knitter, dare I say it...a friend (at least in the blogger world). It was great.

Again, we were not the only Harloony's in the state and it seemed that all of them were gathered at the book store! The line was wound all around the upstairs bookshelves; in and out of little crevasses, there were people. People sitting on the floor knitting, chatting, reading knitting books, taking was AWESOME! What a community I tell you!

Jill and I fit in smashingly. We looked a few books, chatted with the people around us and of course we both had one of our most recent felted crochet bags with us, wearing something that was knit either by us or purchased, and we had our WIP, namely Socks.

About socks: Socks are some of the greatest things I have ever ventured to make. I love the quickness of them, the simplicity of the process (yes, I said simplicity) whether it is toe up or cuff down, the portability of them. I think socks are the perfect project.

And can you believe it that Jill had never made a pair? Socks, one of the most wonderful things to make, the one thing that made me want to learn how to knit in the first place, were the one thing that one of my best friends and crafter/knitter/crocheter/anything extraordinaries had not tried!

Do I seem shocked? Well, I was! Jill is a talented soul. She and her mom are both outstanding knitters but that is not where their talents end. Oh no, no, no, Carole (Jill's Mum who lives in England) is an outstanding jewelry maker and can do just about anything you ask her to do...need sugar flowers delicately made for your wedding cake...done, need special greeting cards made out of tissue paper and glue (I don't know?)...done, need a lace shawl finished by next week...done! My point is that she is amazing at all crafts. It is because of her mom that Jill has the crafty bone in her body.

All this to say that the fact that I was about to teach Jill how to knit socks was a bit staggering to me. And ironic for that matter considering that Jill was the first person to try and teach me how to knit. I say try since I didn't pick it up right away when she taught me. She knits with one needle under her armpit and I found that very hard to do with my large bewbs (that one is for you Val LOL). So, when I was taught again by Starry in the continental method I picked it up right away because it was very similar to crochet (which I have done since 1999).

While sitting in the large room with 200 other knitters waiting for the Harlot to show up, I taught Jill the Long Tail Cast-On. Which, she had never done before, can you believe it? Then I showed her how I distribute the knitting on the needles, make sure she wasn't twisting her work and sent her on her K2P2 path to the land of Socks! I don't know about all of you but the first sock I made took me two weeks to finish...the FIRST SOCK! To finish the pair was about a month, easily!
My First Pair of Socks (mom got them...go figure :-)

How long do you think it took Jill to finish her first sock? How about her first pair? Let me give you a hint...

Jill's First Pair of Socks

ONLY 3 DAYS! Geeze, I should have known she would have had them done quickly when after about 30 minutes into knitting her first pair of, not just that, her first time with DPNS no less, she had about an inch done on the cuff! She is a quick study man, that or I am a good teacher :-) I felt very humbled when after we left the event her sock was way farther along than mine...oh well, you can't win them all...not all knitting is a race.

When Stephanie arrived the place erupted into cheers and whistles. Jill looked up from her sock (which she fondly called toothpicks and dental floss) and looked at the podium. "She looks different doesn't she?" Jill asked me.

I turned to look at her to see where she was looking and I started to laugh, "No, no, Jill, that is not her" then I pointed to the doorway, " THAT is her!"

Oh, Jill exclaimed laughing herself. She blamed it on her straining to see the yarn in her hand but I think she was just so deliriously happy to be knitting socks that her mind took a little vacation for a minute. It was really funny, as I write it out I feel like it was a "have to be there" moment.

Anyway, the Harlot talked and of course she was funny, expressive, and all the other great words used to describe her. I won't write all that she talked about in case there are some of you out there who are going to see her. I don't want to spoil anything. Just know that she was wonderful!

When it was time to start the book signing that is when the tickets with the numbers came into play. Jill and I had numbers 135 & 136 so we had some time to kill. What better place to kill time than in a room with a bunch of other knitters (didn't see a crocheter one) waiting to talk to the Yarn Harlot. *pause* Nope, I can't think of one place!

When it was our time to get the book signed I was so excited I thought I was going to pee my pants; or at least sprinkle a little. As Jill and I were waiting in line she asked me if she should give Stephanie the dishcloth she had made for her. I said yes, of course you should but Jill was feeling a little nervous. She tried to get me to give it as my own but I refused and told her that she should do it because she might get a picture taken with it and the traveling sock! (what and honor huh?)

It was time, I walked up to the table, I handed her my books and I began to talk to The Harlot! For a Harloony this is like Mecca! I told her that I was a frequent commenter on her blog and she asked me what I had said recently.

"Well, I wrote that when you come to Denver you need to do me a favor. When I get to the table to have you sign my book and I tell you my name, stand up and say, ' I have been wanting to meet you!' that way I would be the second coolest person in the room."
Stephanie said that she remebered that comment (OMG!) and then said that I was taller than she imagined (she imagined me?). Was she just pulling my leg? Did she tell that to everybody? Who CARES! She Knows My Name! I was on a true high!

I then introduced Jill and mentioned that she was a sock virgin until tonight. I tried to get Jill to show her the sock but it was like Jill had been taken over by the very shy, imbarrased, and uterly quiet Jill. Now, this is where it got really funny...I hope I write it as funny as I thought it was. Here goes!

Jill: "I saw on your blog that you are collecting dishcloths from each state?"

Harlot: "No".

Jill: *Panic, beads of sweat, gut churning*

Harlot: "Well, collecting isn't exactly the right word"

Jill: *Still Panicing; where is my wingman?...MARLY!*

Harlot: "Each state I go to people are bringing me dishcloths and I plan on putting them together in a blanket. But it really isn't necessary that I have one from each state. You know I have like 5 from Ohio and I will put all 5 in the blanket..."

Jill: *what does that I give her the dishcloth...oh God, it is already out, in my hand, what do I do now? "Oh, well, I made you one for Colorado", tosses it almost involuntarily towards Stephanie.

Harlot: "What is it? Is it the shape of Colorado?" all while stretching it a bit, trying to make out what the dishcloth was.

Jill: *this is not happening to me, this is not happening to me!* (see Jill had purposefully made the dishcloth hexagonal to make it stand out amidst the other dishcloths) "No, it is just a dishcloth," *nothing special, just a dishcloth that I thought you were collecting but I find out you are not, just a dishcloth that you are looking at like a moron must have made and couldn't get a simple square out's just a dishcloth...damn it...just put it in your pocket already!*

Harlot: "Oh, I get it, it is the colors of Colorado, right?"

Jill: *grasping for anything that will end the conversation about this dishcloth* "Yes, that's it!"

Harlot: "Cool," *starts to hand it back to Jill*

Jill: "No, it's for you," *don't give it back to me! Just take the damn thing and put it in your pocket already; sign my book so I can get out of here!*

Harlot: "Thank you," *oh man, now I have to take a picture of this lady and her crazy dishcloth* "Here, let's get a picture of you and the sock and"

Jill: *frantic, OMG, she is making me take a picture with it* "Marlaina, get in this picture," *don't leave me wingman!* "You know you want to!"

Marly: *YEAH! I get to hold the sock!*

Harlot: *this is never going on my blog!*
Or at least something like that. It was so funny to see how paniced Jill was about the whole thing. When we left we were laughing so hard at the whole situation my side hurt. Jill felt like she had made a total ass out of herself and I had to keep reassuring her that she hadn't. So, to all you out there who are going to see the Harlot: when you make a dishcloth to represent your state...include a graphic on it of the state or you too will have a very uncomfortable incident!

The evening ended with Jill and I taking pictures at my house. Why are there no pictures of us at the event? Well, dummy me forgot my camera at home after I took the picture you saw at the start of this post! I was so upset but again, you can't win them all!

I did, however, snag a few pictures of the Harlot on our local TV station!

All in all, it was well worth it!

To hear more in depth detail of this event download my podcast at listen to
Jill and I talk about the night! It is really funny!


Oh, where am I on my socks? About here:
And here:


Melody said...

Marly.. as I sit here in an about to snow morning in April in loverly NE. Sipping my morning cup of joe, this was the FUNNIEST THING EVER. I laughed and laughed, mainly because 1. my husband would have been late too to cause me great distress 2. when I met Le Harlot, the place was PACKED. 3. I also told her I commented on her blog, and she replied and I was totally excited about that. 4. This dishcloth story EFFING HYSTERICAL! it's like you lose yourself when your standing right there in front of her, when you read her each & everyday. She'll be on Knitty Gritty next week too! Thank goodness for TIVO. Have a great day!

Jean said...

Harloony - I love it! As of now, Lady Harlot's tour page does not include a stop in Los Angeles. Argh and bummer for me. I asked her to come to LA in one comment recently. I'm toying with the idea of begging her daily to come to LA. But what if I just annoy the crap out of her and she still doesn't come? And then if she does come, and I meet her, I'd be all, "yeah, i'm the freak who stalks you in the comments." Okay, deep breaths...I'm pretty sure I'd fall to pieces meeting her like Jill did. Sigh.

Jane said...

I wish the Harlot was coming to DC! Especially now that I read this!
So, I too am (gasp here) a "never-knitted a sock" knitter.
But I really, really want to be a sock knitter.
I just started knitting last summer and I am slowly learning on my own. Only bloggers like you to teach me. :-)
Can you recommend a pattern and maybe even recommend a good dental floss, I mean yarn?

Marly said...

Jane, since I don't have any contact information for you I guess the best place to get in touch with you is here. (I have to say that I hate that blogger doesn't automatically send an email address for the people leaving a comment)

The best book to get is Sensational Knitted Socks by Charlene Schurch! It is FANTASTIC! As for the yarn. I think if you are a true beginner it is always easier to start with a bulkier yarn than the dental floss. I usually start my stitch and bitch friends with good old Lion Brand Wool-Ease and size 4 DPN's. ( I have never done the magic loop or 2 circs but I will do it soon)

From there, just email me anytime and I would be more than willing to help you along!

Hey, I know you can do it too! My very first pattern project (you know, other than scarves) was a pair of socks on #2 Dpn's. So, if I can do it you can too!


Terri Lynn said...

Hi Marly,
Great, fun, podcast and nice blog, love your red purse, I alway carry a red purse. I have three short videos on my blog of the Harlot. Check it out! I linked you up!

Jane said...

Marly - Thank you so much! I will go looking for everything this weekend and hopefully start some socks soon!
I would have sent you an email but, unless I am being absolutely thick, I didn't know where to find your email address. :-)
Again, thank you.
I will forge into sock knitting with confidence I hope.

amanda said...

You are so funny. Have you thought about writing a book? Seriously.

Gotta download the podcast.

Jenifer said...

What a fun description of the harlot visit ... :)

woolcrafter said...

Hey Lady! You really captured the "essence" of my washcloth stess! It happened just like that...this girl can read me like a book, or could she smell my fear (I know I was sweating, but I really don't think I let anything else go)? I swear, the whole night was an absolute HOOT! MUST do it again soon!

Ok - who's the next author coming, or when can we grab another kid-free night out? I have something in mind - will be in touch my fun-loving friend...

Kim said...

Oh holy crap Marly, that is way too funny!! I saw the Harlot in September, she is so funny!!! Poor Jill...but man sakes, that is hilarious! If Ms. Harlot makes her way to Utah again, I'll make a dishcloth for her so then Jill won't be the only one! ;)

Terri Lynn said...

CHOKE - Cultutal Humiliation of Knitters Everywhere! Hey, what channel did you see the Harlot on?

Yarn Thing said...

Terri Lynn~ The Harlot was on Colorado and Co. at 9:00 on channel 9 KUSA.


rita said...


I have to tell you that I love you.


I just discovered your blog today. Please keep writing. You're expressing my thoughts about knitting, especially socks, so much better than I can. I keep socks with me at all times, not just on my feet. I always have a pair on the needles; they're portable and I've got the pattern memorized (although I'm feeling the need to stretch my wings a bit with a little fancier leg) and I don't have to think too hard and it calms me down to knit.

Yarn = Xanax. Plus you get something cool at the end of the process, not just nod off to sleep.

Yarn Thing said...


*A** kissing*
I love you too
*A** kissing*

I diddo everything that you said. In my car is an 'emergency sock' that I knit when...well you know, whenever I am in traffic, waiting for the kids, just about anything.

I have memorized the sock pattern too and I too am thinking that I need to get a little more adventurous with my leg pattern. I will let you know how it goes!

So, *lift glass of Diet Soda* here's to the SOCK!


rita said...

Hey--glad to have found your blog. thanks for the note. the stephanie was a riot. It was worth the drive through snow and rain and dark of night (ok no dark of night...but close). I took her yarn and such and she remembered me too...which is scary. I emailed her once with a rather odd thing and she was like...oh yeah, you're the harp player...scary!