Monday, March 26, 2007

What Happens in Vegas...

Stays in Vegas! And THANK GOD for that as John had the runs/poops/shits ALL weekend!
Can you believe it? The one time we think we are actually going to go on a trip and not have some sort of medical emergency, he has to spend almost every other hour on the pot! UGHHH!

*This is going to be a couple day post as it is a long story and I don't want people to get bored :-)*

Okay, let's start at the beginning :-)

Well, I spent all day Thursday tying up loose ends. You know what I mean, finishing ALL the laundry ( I even mean that one basket of clothes in the corner of the laundry room that you tell yourself can wait till next time...or am I the only one with that kind of basket?), packing the kids, bathing the kids, dressing the kids, feeding the kids, threatening the kids with every inch of their lives that they better obey my sister or brother or parents, confirming drop off times with my family, etc. Needless to say, Thursday was jammed packed.

I dropped all the kids off at 4:00 clear across town (approx. 45 minutes) which gave me enough time to get home, take shower myself and pack my knitting bag and my clothing bag before John got home. He got home at 5:45 and needed to take a shower and pack his bag as well. Here is where the fun began...

Is it me or does every married couple who goes on a trip argue about what bag to take or how many bags to take? I mean, come ON! Does it really matter if I want to bring two bags for a two day trip? Does is really bother you that much that you have to make a big deal out of it? It's not like we are cramming into a BMW Mini or anything, we rented a minivan! And no, I don't really want to pack our stuff in the same bag to save space! And furthermore, you can carry on your own bag, you are NOT allowed to put a book in my knitting bag! I don't care how small it is! I want to have my own own own space...mine, mine MINE! (sound like a 3 year old)

Oh well, I didn't prevail in that argument. He and I ended up with one HUGE suitcase (did you know that it can only weigh 50 lbs to get on the plane? Important to note that!) and a smaller duffel bag that was only partially full (refer back to previous parenthesis). Then of course, as I am packing the bags he is questioning everything I am bringing. "Do you need that? You know it is only a couple of days. How many shoes are you bringing? When are you going to wear a dress?"

That was it! I looked him straight in the eye and said I was a 29 year old mother of three and I was finally going on a trip, on a plane, to hotel, with the man I love, for two whole days, WITHOUT KIDS! So, if I wanted to wear a dress and heals to go down the hall to get some FRICKEN ICE from the machine I had every right to do so! BACK OFF BUDDY! It was after that little outburst that he let me finish packing the suitcase all by myself.

Our flight left at 10:30pm so we got to the airport around 7:30. Just to make sure we could check in and get our seats together. Noticing that there was a self check-in counter for those people who had e-tickets I quickly got into that line.

You wouldn't think that getting our seats together would be that difficult but see, we had to purchase our tickets on two separate credit cards since we purchased mine and his company purchased his. Two separate cards means, two separate check-ins. Can you see where this could get complicated? I asked the lady behind the desk if I should just have her check us in to make SURE we could get our seats together. "No, No" she said, " it shouldn't be a problem". I then explained to her the two credit card thing and again, "no, no, not a problem". All righty then. Click, click, click...checked in seat 19c. Click, click, click...checked in seat 17d...UM....that is a problem.

I look at the lady and just ask her if she could please change our seats. She looked at me like I was holding her up too long with my asinine questions. With a huff from her mouth, she started typing on her computer. "I can put you across from one another?" I look at John and see the shear panic on his face.

See, obviously John and I are not small people and seats on a plane are small. Ever seen Tommy Boy "Fat guy in a little coat?" So, the one good thing about traveling with one another is that we can lean into one another instead of the strangers sitting next to us. Get what I mean?

John tells the lady, politely, that it is important to him that we sit together. She looks at him like he is some sort of idiot. She then tells him "yes sir, I understand that you want to sit next to her, that is why I am getting you two seats across from one another. Across the isle".

Having had about enough of the testy attitude, it was at this point that I look her strait in the eye and I told her in not so unmistakable terms that it is important that we sit next to each other in the same row because we are BIG people and we don't want to OOZE over into other peoples seats...we prefer to squish into each other! That got her attention and she gave us the very last two seats available together on the plane. Seats 22 b & C. The very last seats on the know what that means don't you? The back of the plane, next to the bathroom, first to get on the plane; last to get off, these seats don't recline and sit straight up and I swear they have less leg room than any other seat! Can you see where this is going?

It was then time to get our tags on our luggage. What's can't be over weight...I knew we should have packed our own bags! I had to rearrange OUR luggage right there in front of the check-in counter in order to get OUR suitcase under 50 lbs. Thank God I had not totally packed the duffel bag so I had some space to shove John's jeans into it :-) The lady behind the counter was totally disgusted by this point with the amount of time we were taking up in her line. You could see that she was thinking that we couldn't even get this part of the check-in process right. So, I looked at the lady and jokingly said, "Big people=Big clothes=Heavy!" She didn't laugh. I thought is was funny; but hey, you can't win them all.

After we got our boarding passes we thought we would try out one of the restaurants in the terminal for dinner. Big Mistake! We ate at Mesa Verde in concourse A mezzanine (if you are ever at DIA DON'T EAT THERE!) We waited 15 minutes to see a waitress, we waited another 30 minutes to get our food, and we waited another 15 minutes for drink refills.

Then there is the food, it was disgusting! John couldn't finish his at all and I found a hair half way down my ranch dressing that I was using to dip my buffalo wings into! The manager came and took care of our bill and then we waited another 10 minutes for our waitress to come and take our payment for the drinks but she never showed. This is a nightmare of a meal! We are finally out without the kids and look at how it is turning out! So, John just went to the bar and paid leaving NO TIP which is unheard of for him. He had a hair cut the other day where the lady cut a large chunk of hair by mistake and he tipped her $3.00. That is how bad this service was.

By the time we finished our meal it was time to go and wait for the plane to arrive. While I waited I worked on the NEVER ENDING SOCKS!

John snapped this picture of me and I snapped this one of him...

Well, we think it was the food at Mesa Verde that made John sick. He actually was telling me just after this picture was taken that his stomach didn't feel good. Then of course, it was as soon as we landed in Vegas that he started having to go to the bathroom.

That is where I am going to end this first segment of the trip.

In the next I will talk about

  • the plane ride out there,
  • the car rental place,
  • the slut!
  • the hassle to get our room
  • the best breakfast buffet ever!

OH, what did I bring in my Knitting Bag? Well, I decided that I didn't have enough time to wind anything up into a ball so I took the Never Ending Sock, the Trekking Sock scored in a bet (go colts), and the Crochet Felted Bag I am working on. I thought that was enough to get me through the couple of days.

Thanks for voting!


amanda said...

OMG, this is too funny. I have had almost all of this happen to me too. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and my suitcase was too heavy, so I'm rearranging shoes, underwear, etc. at the check in line. FUN.

I have also sat in the VERY last row of an airplane - twice. Once I was flying alone but there was a nice lady next to me, and the other time I was with Bill. But, they were short, 1 hour, flights to Boston.

Can't wait to hear the rest!

Jean said...

Oh, honey! I was reading this thinking, "I sure hope it gets better from here." But your upcoming topics have me worried. "The Slut!"?? I'm both eager and terrified to hear about that. At least you have a great sense of humor and have been able to turn this tale of woe into a hilarious story.

Melody said...

typical of a parental weekend away w/o kids. something always has to go wrong. i love the packing story.. that is SO universal. S&I have traveled A LOT everyone has their own bag. regardless. we save up the arguments for when we are lost,driving around in a rental car!