Seriously, is it possible to be addicted to yarn. Let's take a moment and be realistic about this (wonderful drug) fiber. Realistically, it is just string (note: for those of you who don't have the same affection for this wonder drug, little hint...that last statement...DON'T EVER say that! Them there are fightin' words!) made from the hair of an animal or fiber from a plant or manufactured plastic. In its raw form it might not look like much (to an untrained eye) or mean anything; it has no real function (other than maybe holding a rose bush/vine to a trellis). So, if this virtually useless item is nothing really worth talking about why is it I can't get enough of it?
- Why is it when I hear a yarn store is going out of business I don't feel bad for the owner(not true, I do feel bad) rather I start to have a panic attack because all the yarn inside said store is 40% off and I live at least 30 minutes away?
- Why is it that when I am having a stressful day all I want to do is go and buy yarn and everything seems to be okay?
- Why is it that when I open my one and only present at Christmas and it is an entire box full of discontinued, specialty, hand painted sock yarn, chirps of joy squeak out from every part of my body?
I think the thing about yarn is that is contains, so innocently, in it's tiny little hank/skein/ball an endless amount of possibilities all of which you have the power to wheeled with either a hook or two(three or four) needles! Finally, something in our lives we can actually control!
This wonderful drug called yarn has a hold on me. I am sitting here today writing this to you in the midst of a yarn binge...and if feels gooooood! Um...not really a binge but at least a little fix.
My name is Marly, and I am a YARN JUNKIE!
What a day I have had! Imagine, if you will, me, after getting off the phone with a lady (who transfered me to five different departments) at the information/volunteer desk who told me they were really busy and not available to help me push my grandmother out to the valet parking lot from the 10th floor of a building that is under construction and has multiple detours to get where you need to go. When I asked her what I should do, she replied, "I don't know what to tell you!" Because they were 'too busy' I had to push my 87 year old grandma in a wheelchair and pull behind me a double stroller with my 3 year old and my 1 year old inside yelling at the top of their lungs...inside a critical care unit of a hospital! Starting to get a grip on what kind of day this was? And that was at 11:00 AM! I don't want to bore you with any more details than that; plus, I think you can get an idea from that one incident, right?
While on my way home in a car with three kids in the backseat fighting with one another (does that ever end?) I whipped into a front row parking spot in front of Posh, turned off and got out of the car, walked to the front door and opened it up, looked at Sylvia and said...
Marly: "Sylvia, do me a favor please while I stand here in the door (propping it open with my arse) because the kids are in the car" *begging her with the crazy look in my eyes* "just pick out a sock yarn and give it to me!"NOTE: I was no more than five feet from the car as the front door of Posh is directly in front of the parking spaces! I am not one of those crazy people who just leaves her children in a car and goes into a gas station or anything!
Sylvia: *Oh man, knitter in need, knitter in need! Alert, Alert, we are on DEF CON 5 people! We have a knitter in crisis! "Sure, what colors do you want?" she asked while getting up out of her chair very quickly all the while not missing a beat or asking me any questions about my frantic nature
Marly: *With my head beginning to twitch as I hear the kids screaming out the window...MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY* "I don't care, you pick it!"
Sylvia: *okay, what is the procedure?...oh yeah, with a knitter in crisis the first thing you do is let said knitter touch yarn. Let said knitter get a little tactile fix to stop the twitching* "Here, I will just bring them over to you so you can choose." *smiling as to not disturb the knitter any more than he or she already is* She picks up the yarn basket and brings it to me in the doorway
Marly: (still holding the door open)*heartbeat starts to calm down* "Awww, Yarn! I like them all!" *touches every single skein of yarn...even the ones on the bottom of the basket*
Sylvia: *okay, knitter feeling yarn and contemplating color for purchase, check. What's next...oh yeah, show said knitter MORE yarn!* "Here, I have some more. What color..."
Marly: *I SPY IT!* "That one, that one there, ring it up!" *grabs yarn and throws money at dealer*(literally)
Sylvia: *sigh of relief, crisis under control* "Okay dear."
Marly: "I have had such a ruff day and I just had to get a little fix. Thank you so much Sylvia!" *about to cry over the amazing help from an almost complete stranger*
Sylvia: "I know how those days go...this should help" she said with a large smile on her face. "Have a good day, Marly!" *a good dealer always remembers her junkies by name!*
Marly: "Fastest sale you will have all day! Catch you later!" *walks to the car a much better mom, ready to take on the world*
So, here I am, feeling much better with my new skein of Austermann STEP in shades of green and cream. I am on a total high. And it is even better knowing that when I need more drug I can get them at a discount because one of the local yarn shops around here is closing and all the yarn is 40% off. Seriously, almost nothing better than getting your drug at a discount; am I right?